There are easy-to-follow techniques in the Neurochemical for doubling or tripling a business. We make it seem magical, like where we wave a wand or stick and “> B•O•O•M<” business doubles!
Naw. It’s not like that. That’s a SILVER BULLET. No one makes bullets out of silver unless you’re hunting werewolfs. WEREWOLVES don’t exist either. Both silver bullets and werewolves are fantasy.
It’s taken a decade to figure out the combination to opening an excellent business. We go through 86 checkpoints to assure what we suggest doubles or triples a business.
Here, on this blog, we’ll set you up with a few things to do and let us know how it has worked (or hasn’t worked) in your business. The knowledge we are giving you here is of no use if you don’t apply it. So, apply it.
Some say: “It is easier said than done.”
We say: “Don’t be a lazy ass and try applying the techniques. In fact, don’t try it, just do it.” 🤣
^ That might sound a little harsh but this blog is for big boys and girls. If it offends you, we say: “Grow the eff up“. We’re here to generate business and can give a rat’s ass about your vanity, ego or feelings. Ready?
Seriously, it’s utterly fascinating to us how some overlooked and minor touches to a business works wonders in increasing the bottom line. Often this results in doubling or tripling the business for our clients. One of many techniques we use is by prescribing the NINE QUESTIONS listed below.
When all is said and done, business owners seldom give us the credit we deserve. They think: “That was easy. I could have done it myself.”
That’s okay. You didn’t think to do it yourself. We did. This is all fine by us. We’re all grown up and don’t require acknowledgement or credit to know what we did to fix the broken issues of a business. That is what they paid us to do for them after all. For us, that’s what matters most.
There are nine questions we ask clients to see if we can double or triple their current business. It also tells us how well they understand business and how well they understand their brand.
If they answer all nine questions correctly and with fluidity, we may NOT be able to help them. They can probably help themselves. More often than not, 4 or 5 of the Nine Questions hadn’t ever crossed their mind.
At that point what we do DO is suggest they hire us to FILL or FIX the gaps in a logical business format. No werewolves, full moons, silver bullets or overnight sensations. It’s just work.
All too often these knowledge gaps have created stumbling road blocks in their business growth. They don’t teach the techniques we perscribe, even at ivy business schools.
BEFORE we hand over the nine questions of things you SHOULD ASK about your business, here’s some things you should NOT do to your business: It’s called un-advertising or un-marketing your business.
If you are going to advertise your own business, please remember that you are an AMATEUR and advertising is a profession like any other. See if you want to admit to yourself that you have no real idea what you are doing. It’s okay.
So many business owners follow what your neighbor does AND THINK that they are successful because of the way they advertise their business. There are often dozens of other factors that have went into their business to bring them where they are. We’ll go into those reasons below.
Here are two bad examples of businesses trying to advertise and woo customers into their business with some real amateur techniques.
Who is the customer that reads the ad below and says to themself: “Oh yeah, look at those freakin’ prices! Look how much money I will save getting shitfaced this evening! I must go here!”
As you may have guessed, this place was empty except for the bartender and her two friends. It’s a shame because it is a very good looking place. I sure hope they figure it out before the FOR RENT sign goes up in a season or so.
Here’s another clueless business owner who at least got a small piece of the advertising game going on. Care to take a crack at what they did right?
First, again, who is the customer?
Why, that’s easy. It’s someone who is ready to drop a few hundred dollars on their next catering order, just walking down the street, moseying along, looking for places that cater fish 🐟 and advertise this on the sidewalk. Nope, not, never.
Not too bright. This percieved in the subconscious as looking desperate and needy which is never attractive to anyone: male or female. These business people are subsequently saying is: “WE need money NOW! Place a big order with US now so we can make the money WE need to make NOW!” 😟 The explaination point at the end of the sentence almost assumes, ME, the passerby, had completely forgot that I had to cater an event coming up.
What they did do right tho is place a COMMAND in the language. Some asswipe will likely respond and go in and ask about a catering order. THE BUSINESS OWNER will then say to themselves: “Ahhh, the sidewalk ad worked.”
The customer is an asswipe tho and will unlikely cater any party, any where although it was fun to ask and see the excitement on the shop owners face. Futhermore, it’s not much of a story to tell your neighbora and family members.
We do love to tell stories.
Okay. One place got it right. The one liner they had on the board released a little shot of dopamine in my brain and got a chuckle out of me. The place was packed so we didn’t actually go in this time, but another time, we shall entre. They created a curious customer off a blackboard on the sidewalk.
This original line: “Alcohol goes in [and] happiness comes out.”
I thought piss comes out when you drink. So, we are calling urine “happiness” now? Now THAT, is some funny shit. 🤣
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Here’s one we placed outside of a small cafe that hired us to redesign the interior and remodel the entire business:
We used a brilliant quote from the late, great Irish Decadent: Oscar Wilde. It reflects both sides of the political belief isle in an almost independent and distanced way. Some passerbys were deeply offended. The stopped to read the whole thing, huffed 😤 and stormed off. Others posed next to it with their thumbs rasied, shit-eating grim, etc. Yes sir, we win some, lose some.
If we BRANDERS learned ONE THING from the Donald Trump presidency campaign, it is that you can’t go too far with your beliefs. The only problem with beliefs is to be SILENCE and fearful in never speaking up at all. This is considered weak by any standards. In advertising, NEVER BE TOO AFRAID TO OFFEND. People like it much more then they will openly admit.
People love to complain. If you don’t give them something to complain about, they’ll find something anyway.
So, if you are a smart cookie, and we suspect you might, you are probably wondering “WHAT DOES THIS QUOTE HAVE TO DO with GENERATING new BUSINESS?”
Our answer: “EVERYTHING!”
In fact, this was placed outside the second week of reopening the little cafe business. That week we doubled the income of the business from the week before. The people who agreed with the quote came in because they believe what we believe. This income doubled again the third week. The sign had a considerable part in generating the income of this business.
People like to patronize businesses that share the same beliefs and values. This is What a Brand is… We were selling cupcakes, coffee and ice cream but what we are also selling is a conversation and a chance to engage is a like-minded value and belief. And we were doing it with confidence. And a little bit of crass attitude with the last line: “Have a cupcake, cupcake.”
Ice cream and cupcakes are hedonistic indulgences while coffee drinks are a daily American staple. DECADENCE was writ in all caps and the largest word to be read at a distance besides the name of the place: Qdyssey.
The QUOTE is a strong statement which aligned the newly branded persona of the business with a position and belief. We happened to know that the Greeks in the area would definitely get a kick out of it. They love looking down on America and the lack of culture exhibited here. Indeed, they did.
If you do plan on doing an advertisement all by yourself I have a great suggestion. Get a hold of an old advertising award book (hard cover) and read every single ad in that book. Some suggested AWARD books to get: The Art Directors’ Club, D&AD, The One Show, HOW (Magazine), CLIO Awards, OBIE Awards, EFFIE Awards, Communication Arts (Advertising).
It will take you an hour or two to poir through on book. There are 100s of great ads and it’s as enjoyable to read as dropping and bratty, know-it-all teenager covered in blood into a swimming pool filled with hungry piranha. 🤡
You’ll at least understand what it takes to make a good advertisement. F*ck it, steal a few ads right out of the book. No one will know and no one will really care. Especially, if you get the old ad AWARD books from the 60s, 70s and 80s, the copywriter and art directors are probably already dead. You win. You haven’t bored PASSERBYS to death with listing your prices or writing whatever shit you are selling on SALE or because you think people care about what you wrote. They don’t.
Any questions? mailto: BinkNyc@gmail.com
(to double your business)
1. Who is your customer?
Hands Down! This is the first question any business owner needs to ask themselves. If you want to make money, WHO is going to pay you, is the thing you what you want to know first.
2. What is the value of the service or product you are offering?
You know what you are selling. Is the message clear? Are you unadvertising or unmarketing your product or service by mistake?
3. How are you planning to reach and communicate to your customer?
Some options are: Print ads, Radio or TV or cable, Word-of-Mouth, reputation-based, e-mail, direct mail, posters, flyers business cards, networking, guerilla, native advertising, point-of-sale, etc…
4. What type of relationship do you plan on having with your customer?
Such as: personal, professional, online, community, telephone, text, social media.
5. How will you make revenue for the service or product you are providing?
Cash, check, credit, paypal, affiliate programs, credit cards, etc…
6. What are the resources you will need to be able to deliver the product or service?
These are the main things you need to give your customer in terms of value, delivery, pick up, drop off, suppliers, stock, shipping and handling, etc…
7. What type of activities do you need to do to fulfill the customer with the value you provide?
This is how the whole operation gets done. What must you do to fulfill the obligations and orders.
8. What type of partnership can you form or align to differentiate your fulfillment to the customer?
This are those others who can help you or who(m) you can help with your business. Think of this as a form of expasion that you haven’t considered yet. One of your suppliers can be one of your greatest assets.
9. What will all of this cost?
These are ALL THE COSTS you will need to drive your business. List them so you are clear where the money is going out.
DOUBLING THE BUSINESS
So the questions to cosider are, Where can I expand? What is my competition doing in Extras that We are not doing? What other services or products can I provide which will drive more revenue to my business?
Go through the nine questions again for another business you know and understand. You’ll want to ask or analyize a successful business within your scale and revenue range (solopreneur, entrepreneur, small, medium, large). You WILL find gaps that can and should be filled. FILL THEM!
This is how we help clients double their business. The good ones who are willing to listen and put in the work will do triple their business. Some in as few as a coulle of weeks or months. Some take years and most will never get anywhere or close their doors.
Yes. These are the nine questions anyone opening a business should be able to answer. Not only that, it would serve the business even better to have each of the answers be flexible meaning, don’t assume your plan is the only plan that will work. The marketplace is NEVER GOING BEND TO YOUR WILL. You should bend to their will. This way you can address the customer’s needs, wants and desires in a better fashion.
We use these nine questions as a starting point. In an actual meeting, with myself or an associate, we go into much greater detail. There are many other considerations to consider in order to double or triple a business but in answering these nine questions gets you that much closer to seeing what is actually going on. It doesn’t matter if you just seek growth or are in financial trouble and the business is suffering. Double is double.
Let us know how we can help. We would be honored at the prospect. We can help. All you have to do is call.
Breuk Iversen (718) 578-6613